For the first time since my arrival, the moon hangs high and full, illuminating the city laying at it’s feet. An eerie peace fills the air, as the only explosions to be witnessed tonight are the explosions of stars in the sky. Scattered across God’s black canvas, blinking and winking down at me.
I feel that piece by piece the reasoning behind God bringing me to Iraq is slowly being revealed. Through people and experiences I can feel something moving in and around me. I pray that more pieces may be revealed, more doors opened… most importantly the door to my heart.
It is hard to fathom what my childhood would have been like had I grown up here. Such vast differences in who we are stem from where we come from. Yet, so much of what we feel and what we seek are universally felt and pursued no matter what our upbringing.
It is late and I am tired. I don’t sleep much these days. Too many thoughts of family and friends… too many thoughts of what should be, or questions of where to begin fill my head. Often finding their way down through my fingertips, onto paper, and eventually to you. Sharing with those who surround my heart.
I pray that more will come from this situation, that more will come from me.
We have an opportunity to make a difference in the lives of many from here in Iraq. Pray that God can help me be an instrument to fuel that change.
I will be asking a lot of you guys in the coming weeks, I just ask that you be patient and resourceful with me. God has put me here for a reason, may that reason find it’s way into your hearts, as I feel it has already begun to move within me.
Goodnight and God bless…
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
ghosts of witness...
I know it has been almost a month since I have posted, for that I apologize. It is hard to believe that it has already been a month since I arrived. Let me try to get everyone up to speed.
The day to day routine is in fact just that...routine. The days melt together into a blur that often feels like a train zipping by me while I sit at the station watching it pass me by. Most days I consider this a true blessing. However, there are moments I find myself in where I am in absolute awe of my surroundings. Little slivers of hope and peace amidst the turmoils surrounding me...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was a Tuesday afternoon. The sun had just begun to slowly melt into the horizon. It's warm glow casting a soft golden light on everything in it's path. I was in a humvee driving down the road, window down, breathing it all in. The dust and golden filled air making it's presence known.
As our vehicle was speeding past the infamous crossed swords of Baghdad we saw two helicopters begin their downward descent in order to land on the marching grounds that lay between the crossed swords. The intrigue of the helo's descent was too much for us to bare, so we threw on our blinker, and pulled the Humvee under the swords to witness the landing.
The helicopters touched down flawlessly, and with the military precision that we have come to expect. Instantly a convoy of humvees and up-armored suburbans flew in, gathered their passengers, and were driving off in to the sunset before the helicopter blades had even stopped spinning.
Moments later the whirl of the blades, and the roar of the humvees had faded. Once again the dust, and golden light, filled the air, but this time they were joined by the peaceful sound of silence. For a few moments my friend and I sat there enjoying the silence.
In this moment I could not help but be mindful of something I had read only days before. Adam Duritz, lead singer of the 'Counting Crows', had recently posted a blog entry in which he spoke of a quote from the author Carolyn Forche, which reads... "The silence of God is God."
And, in that moment I could feel the silence wrapping itself around me, embracing my very being. Affirmation that I am here for a reason much larger than myself.
I had my camera by my side so I stepped out of the humvee and began to shoot a few pictures of it all. Memories and snapshots of my minds eye.
At the base of each hand, which hold the crossed swords, Saddam Hussein placed the helmets of Iranian Soldiers who had been killed by his men in the Iraq/Iran war. Many helmets are found pierced with bullet holes, laying there witnesses and reminders of the blood that was shed. Seeing this display of utter disrespect for the lost souls, and Saddam's self-manifested glory shook me to the core.
As the crossed swords are somewhat of an iconic symbol and landmark of Iraq, people flock to the area to have their pictures taken in front of them. A souvenir to take home and to display. However for many, a picture is not enough. Helmets seem to disappear all the time, a war trophy of sorts. Others simply leave messages atop the helmets. Handwritten reminders to those who come behind them, letting them know they were here.
People are funny that way. Always trying to leave a piece of themselves to bare witness they took part in this legacy of war. In the end, once everything is stripped away and only our true self remains, I believe we all want the same thing. We all want to be remembered. To be memorialized. To know that our time here on earth was not spent in vain, and to know that our life meant something.
I am no different. Nor do I think anyone else is for that matter.
In the end we all turn to ghosts.
Ghosts of witness...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things are going well for me. We have been attacked several times lately. This is to be expected as we enter the Holiday season. Nothing says Happy Holidays like a car bomb, or mortar round. Regardless, I am still safe and pressing on. Working long hours and getting things taken care of.
Attached you will find pictures of the scene from the story above. Or shall I say, I am going to try and attach the pictures! Hopefully, it will work for me.
I appreciate everyones thoughts, prayers, and care packages that I have received. They are greatly appreciated! It certainly does not feel like the holidays when I am apart from the people I love. However, I am still forever thankful for all of you, and everything that you bring into my life. I am truly blessed.
I hope that everyone has had a beautiful Thanksgiving weekend. I promise to try and do better about posting here more often. I often begin to write, but somehow always get distracted by the never ending work that needs tending to.
I'd also like to ask everyone to keep my parents and their fellow companions in your prayers as they are embarking on their mission trip to Nepal. They are all doing great work over there! May they have a safe and productive trip.
Until next time my friends...
The day to day routine is in fact just that...routine. The days melt together into a blur that often feels like a train zipping by me while I sit at the station watching it pass me by. Most days I consider this a true blessing. However, there are moments I find myself in where I am in absolute awe of my surroundings. Little slivers of hope and peace amidst the turmoils surrounding me...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was a Tuesday afternoon. The sun had just begun to slowly melt into the horizon. It's warm glow casting a soft golden light on everything in it's path. I was in a humvee driving down the road, window down, breathing it all in. The dust and golden filled air making it's presence known.
As our vehicle was speeding past the infamous crossed swords of Baghdad we saw two helicopters begin their downward descent in order to land on the marching grounds that lay between the crossed swords. The intrigue of the helo's descent was too much for us to bare, so we threw on our blinker, and pulled the Humvee under the swords to witness the landing.
The helicopters touched down flawlessly, and with the military precision that we have come to expect. Instantly a convoy of humvees and up-armored suburbans flew in, gathered their passengers, and were driving off in to the sunset before the helicopter blades had even stopped spinning.
Moments later the whirl of the blades, and the roar of the humvees had faded. Once again the dust, and golden light, filled the air, but this time they were joined by the peaceful sound of silence. For a few moments my friend and I sat there enjoying the silence.
In this moment I could not help but be mindful of something I had read only days before. Adam Duritz, lead singer of the 'Counting Crows', had recently posted a blog entry in which he spoke of a quote from the author Carolyn Forche, which reads... "The silence of God is God."
And, in that moment I could feel the silence wrapping itself around me, embracing my very being. Affirmation that I am here for a reason much larger than myself.
I had my camera by my side so I stepped out of the humvee and began to shoot a few pictures of it all. Memories and snapshots of my minds eye.
At the base of each hand, which hold the crossed swords, Saddam Hussein placed the helmets of Iranian Soldiers who had been killed by his men in the Iraq/Iran war. Many helmets are found pierced with bullet holes, laying there witnesses and reminders of the blood that was shed. Seeing this display of utter disrespect for the lost souls, and Saddam's self-manifested glory shook me to the core.
As the crossed swords are somewhat of an iconic symbol and landmark of Iraq, people flock to the area to have their pictures taken in front of them. A souvenir to take home and to display. However for many, a picture is not enough. Helmets seem to disappear all the time, a war trophy of sorts. Others simply leave messages atop the helmets. Handwritten reminders to those who come behind them, letting them know they were here.
People are funny that way. Always trying to leave a piece of themselves to bare witness they took part in this legacy of war. In the end, once everything is stripped away and only our true self remains, I believe we all want the same thing. We all want to be remembered. To be memorialized. To know that our time here on earth was not spent in vain, and to know that our life meant something.
I am no different. Nor do I think anyone else is for that matter.
In the end we all turn to ghosts.
Ghosts of witness...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things are going well for me. We have been attacked several times lately. This is to be expected as we enter the Holiday season. Nothing says Happy Holidays like a car bomb, or mortar round. Regardless, I am still safe and pressing on. Working long hours and getting things taken care of.
Attached you will find pictures of the scene from the story above. Or shall I say, I am going to try and attach the pictures! Hopefully, it will work for me.
I appreciate everyones thoughts, prayers, and care packages that I have received. They are greatly appreciated! It certainly does not feel like the holidays when I am apart from the people I love. However, I am still forever thankful for all of you, and everything that you bring into my life. I am truly blessed.
I hope that everyone has had a beautiful Thanksgiving weekend. I promise to try and do better about posting here more often. I often begin to write, but somehow always get distracted by the never ending work that needs tending to.
I'd also like to ask everyone to keep my parents and their fellow companions in your prayers as they are embarking on their mission trip to Nepal. They are all doing great work over there! May they have a safe and productive trip.
Until next time my friends...
Friday, November 2, 2007
Settling in...
I apologize for the delay in my posts. I am just now coming out of the acclimatization phase of being here in Baghdad. So, here it goes...
After landing at Baghdad International Airport (BIAP)I hopped on a convoy and headed over to my final destination, the International/Green Zone. Commonly known as the IZ, it is the home of the US Embassy here in Iraq. The embassy is housed in one of Saddam's old palaces, which is only a stones throw away from the infamous crossed swords. I'll try to post a picture of the palace and the swords for you very soon, but for now just click here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hands_of_Victory
I am in the safest area of Iraq, if there is such a thing. We do get the occasional mortar or rocket thrown our way, but nothing too bad. You just have to be aware of what is going on around you at all times, listening for early warning alarms, etc. This place is wild!
The palace is very nice at first glance. However, after further inspection you can see that the craftsmanship is not so great. Nonetheless I'll take it over a tent any day of the week! I truly am blessed to be stationed here. There are so many people in worse conditions than those of us here.
As far as my work is concerned, I am working with a group of broadcast and radio journalists. We produce a number of television news reports, as well as produce almost every US Military and State Department press conference held here in Baghdad. Not only that, but we are the producers of Freedom Radio. This is the only American run radio station in Iraq and it is specifically for the troops. Just think Robin Williams in "Good Morning Vietnam" and that is what we do. Good times I tell you!
I am starting to get into a routine. I have lots of work in front of me, but that is why I am here. I am just going to keep my head down and get to it, and before you know it I will be on my home. That will be a sweet day!
Thank you to all who continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I still have a long way to go before I am back home with Stacey. I know I won't be able to make it through without the help of you guys. I am truly blessed to have the love and support that you guys provide for Stacey and I.
I will post some pictures so you can get a feeling of how it is out here. I know many of you are wondering what it is really like. I am off to bed for now. I'll post more soon.
Adios!
After landing at Baghdad International Airport (BIAP)I hopped on a convoy and headed over to my final destination, the International/Green Zone. Commonly known as the IZ, it is the home of the US Embassy here in Iraq. The embassy is housed in one of Saddam's old palaces, which is only a stones throw away from the infamous crossed swords. I'll try to post a picture of the palace and the swords for you very soon, but for now just click here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hands_of_Victory
I am in the safest area of Iraq, if there is such a thing. We do get the occasional mortar or rocket thrown our way, but nothing too bad. You just have to be aware of what is going on around you at all times, listening for early warning alarms, etc. This place is wild!
The palace is very nice at first glance. However, after further inspection you can see that the craftsmanship is not so great. Nonetheless I'll take it over a tent any day of the week! I truly am blessed to be stationed here. There are so many people in worse conditions than those of us here.
As far as my work is concerned, I am working with a group of broadcast and radio journalists. We produce a number of television news reports, as well as produce almost every US Military and State Department press conference held here in Baghdad. Not only that, but we are the producers of Freedom Radio. This is the only American run radio station in Iraq and it is specifically for the troops. Just think Robin Williams in "Good Morning Vietnam" and that is what we do. Good times I tell you!
I am starting to get into a routine. I have lots of work in front of me, but that is why I am here. I am just going to keep my head down and get to it, and before you know it I will be on my home. That will be a sweet day!
Thank you to all who continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I still have a long way to go before I am back home with Stacey. I know I won't be able to make it through without the help of you guys. I am truly blessed to have the love and support that you guys provide for Stacey and I.
I will post some pictures so you can get a feeling of how it is out here. I know many of you are wondering what it is really like. I am off to bed for now. I'll post more soon.
Adios!
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