Sand Sailor

Been awhile...

2008-12-09T01:45:00.001-08:00

It has been far too long since my last post, and for that I apologize. It is funny how life seems to rush by you, leaving you chasing the fleeting moments as the fly by. My life is no exception. So many things have transpired in the months since my return from Iraq. For the first time in 4 years my life has started to take a turn towards the norm. I am working, going to school, and doing what I can to enjoy all that life has to offer. With this shift in lifestyle, I felt a need to document life in a way other than what I have done here. This does not mean that I am abandoning this blog, although the past 6 months are evidence of the differ. With this said, I invite you all to take a look at my newest blog concoction, c l i c k 3 6 5. I will be approaching this new blog with more images than words. I am doing my best to post a new image everyday, a photographic diary of sorts. Some images may simply be "a day in the life of", while others may be images from which I draw inspiration from others. Either way, stop on by and check it out.

And for the few fans of my musical selections, I have new podcasts in the works for you as well. Again, you can check out
c l i c k 3 6 5 for details.

I wish you all the Happiest of Holidays.

Hope to see you soon.

-atw

one month...

2008-05-24T01:36:00.000-07:00

One month... I have been home for one month to date. Looking back now it all feels like a dream. I see images of Iraq on the front page of the newspaper, videos on TV, yet it doesn't seem like I was really there. That is until I go to the movies with my wife and find myself instinctively reacting to the sound of rocket fire coming through in Dolby surround sound. It is still something that I look back upon in a dreamlike state. Why? I have no idea.

The human mind can do some pretty incredible things. When placed in an environment where it seems no one should be able to adapt, people do. Not only surviving, but thriving amidst the stress and turmoil surrounding them. Yet, at the same time I think it is hard for many to mentally grasp all that is going on. Compartmentalizing things in their mind to help digest life with a little more ease. I know that I am finding out I did just that. Things are slowly starting to come back to me...Slowly emerging in my thoughts. Making self realizations from time to time that help me put it all back together in my head.

I am not promising, but only aspiring to write at least once a week. Not just for you to read, but to help me get this story, my story, out of my brain and onto paper. So, stick around...I know I have been a ghost for the past month, but there are still a lot of stories left to tell.

Until then...

this is our last goodbye...

2008-04-24T22:19:00.000-07:00

After spending 48 sleepless hours at Baghdad International Airport, I finally found myself walking towards a plane...a home bound plane.

Although a sand storm had tried to keep me in Iraq, it was time for me to go. The emotions encompassing my mind as I walked towards the plane were a mixed up, grab bag of chaos and clarity. Knowing that I would be home in a few days was too much for me to comprehend, so I pushed that thought to the back of my brain. I also felt as though I was leaving things undone, as if I had not done enough and needed to stay to see things through. These people still needed me, right?

The Air Force Sergeant led us in a single file towards the cargo bay door of a C-130. I quietly found myself looking around in awe...watching a pillar of smoke rise in the distance, smelling the scent of burning trash, feeling the grit of sand on my skin. It seemed like it was just yesterday when I was getting off of a plane and watching, smelling, and feeling all of these things for the first time. Perhaps, this time will be my last.

The closer I got to the plane the more I felt as though I was actually going to be leaving. The more I believed I was actually going to be leaving the happier I became. Yet, my happiness was shattered when I set foot on the plane. Laying before me was a comrade, Fallen and wrapped in the warmth of Our Flag, he was making his final journey home. A journey bringing him home, but never bringing him back.

Silent tears escaped my eyes.

Knowing how much my family went through on this deployment, I cannot even begin to fathom what it must be like for this Soldiers family. I immediately felt guilty. Here I was, going home unscathed and whole, while others never return.

I couldn't shake this image, these thoughts. What is it all for? Did this Soldier believe in what he was doing over there? Was he at peace with himself when he left this world?

There are rumors that some soldiers know, or feel, that they are going to die days or weeks before it happens. Was he one of them? Jeff Buckley immediately came to mind.

Jeff Buckley was a singer songwriter who died after writing songs foreshadowing his death. His most notable song is aptly named "Last Goodbye", where he croons and wails about love, and how he came to terms with its death...with his death.

I wanted to know that the soldier laying before me was able to come to terms with his death, with his life. I know that I will never know the answer to those questions. They are not answers for my ears to hear, but only for his heart to know.

May God bless him and welcome him home, as my family has welcomed me.

This is not the end of my story, but rather the beginning.

There are many stories still in need of telling.

Only time will tell if I will do them justice...

Catch Up!

2008-04-11T05:34:00.000-07:00

So, I know I haven't posted in awhile. I promise to try to do so very shortly. In the meantime, here is a quick update. I will be leaving here within the week. I can't put out dates or times, just know that I will be heading home very, very shortly! It has been a crazy ride and I have done and seen things I never thought I ever would. I promise to write something much more eloquent and heartfelt this weekend. But, for now here are the last 3 radio shows that I have been slacking on posting.

Enjoy!

:Easter Sunday Show - Hour 1:

:Easter Sunday Show - Hour 2:

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::Remember the Nineties? - Hour 1::

::Remember the Nineties? - Hour 2::

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:::Free For All - Hour 1:::

:::Free For All - Hour 2:::

Threesome at Saddam's house...anyone?

2008-03-22T02:47:00.000-07:00

I awoke early yesterday. Wiping the sleep from my eyes, I quietly packed a few of my things before heading out the door. The sun was just beginning to rise as I left my room and walked through the palace courtyard. This was going to be a good day.

As I approached the Republican Palace Pool people were already starting to gather around. They were marking their bodies with race numbers, stretching, spinning on their bikes, etc. You know, the normal routine seen at every other triathlon around the world. But, wait...we're in Baghdad!

I must admit I have run some triathlons in some fairly abnormal conditions. Hell, my very first triathlon ever was in a swamp down in Louisiana, where a Game Warden had to flush out all of the alligators in the area before we could start the swim. Although that ranks high on my list of strange places to compete, swimming, biking, and running in Saddam Hussein's backyard takes the cake.

So, here we are in the middle of Baghdad kicking off the Baghdad Triathlon Club's 2008 season. Gotta love this stuff! Since Baghdad has had a surprisingly chilly winter, yes it actually snowed this winter, water temperatures were holding steady at about 64 degrees! Shockingly no one had wetsuits so we did a reverse tri, with the order of events being run, bike, and then swim. The idea behind this was to help speed things along by allowing the run and bike to spread the field so that no one would be stuck waiting to get into the pool. This event order also allowed the temperatures to rise a little, making the jump into the water a little less shocking to our bodies. This sounds good in theory, but trust me, that water was damn cold!

Before I get ahead of myself, let us start in the beginning...

45 of us gathered at the starting line to begin the race on foot. It was a quick 1.5 mile out and back winding through the dust and gravel of the US Embassy compound within the "Green Zone". The run went quickly and before you knew it we were transitioning to the bike. Much like our wetsuits, most left their tri bikes back in the states as well. To accommodate for this we rode in 2 divisions, those who had their mountain bikes and townies did a quick 4 mile double loop very similar to the run route, while others, like myself, hopped on a trusty stationary bike to pedal our way through the 4 miles. I used this opportunity to draft behind the former "Blue Angel", Rear Admiral Driscoll. That's me in the yellow "Livestrong" jersey right behind the Admiral.

After the quick ride on my stationary steed it was in to the cold water of the pool. Luckily the swim was only 250 Meters. I was in and out before I knew it. After exiting the water it was over. My first race of 2008 is under my belt, and I did it in Baghdad no doubt! I think this is going to be the start of a very good season.

The best thing about this race was getting to be around the people. The race director David Moore is a God send.(That's him in the Army shirt pre-race!) He coordinated this race in conjunction with a race being held in Manassas, Virginia. You can read all about it here. Not only did the guys in Virginia sponsor this race, they treated us not only to an official race packet, but they also donated tons of other goodies for us. In every packet a brand new TYR Triathlon Race Suit was included! They provided this, along with many other things, for free! If I ever make it out to Manassas again I will be sure to stop by and thank these guys personally. This was just another example of the love and support shown to the Military Men and Women by the American people. Thank you guys for always being there!

Serving in Baghdad has been quite an interesting journey for me. As my time is drawing to an end I can't help but to think about how I have changed. Wondering how this time has truly affected my life. Since I am already on the topic of triathlons, let me say this...

I am viewing this time here as a transition area so to speak. Completing one aspect in the race of life, while transitioning into the next. Perhaps my life hasn't always gone as planned, but most races never do. It's all about what you do to overcome those challenges that defines who you are. This analogy is one of the reasons that I love triathlon. It not only helps overcome physical challenges, but it helps you overcome life's challenges as well. It's days like today that make me come back for more...one more swim...one more ride...one more run. Further preparing me for the ever changing conditions I face traveling through the course of life.

Thank you Baghdad Triathlon Club, here's to a great season!

:: Ode To Ireland ::

2008-03-21T02:08:00.000-07:00

My apologies for posting the show a little late this week. I have a lot going these days as my time in Iraq is drawing to a close. I also apologize for my lack of posts in general lately. Hopefully this weekend I can make it up to you.

So, this show aired last Sunday, March 16th. It was my hopes to get everyone into the spirit of St. Patty's day with some good ol' Irish music. Here is my meager attempt to do just that...

Ode to Ireland - Hour 1

Ode to Ireland - Hour 2

:: Double Shots, Deuces, & Duos ::

2008-03-01T00:47:00.001-08:00

So, this week has been fairly hectic... So, I threw together a show rather quickly. I am finding that I prefer to have a theme for each show. It helps me focus and keeps me from bouncing all over the place with my music selection. I had a whole "From New York to London" show planned in my mind, but getting the time to research all of the bands and their heritage, etc. was difficult this week. So, I decided to run with a "Double Shot Show", playing two songs by each artist. Here are the results. Not my best show by far, but fun nevertheless. Thanks for everyones support. You guys are the best!

Download and listen here:

:: Double Shots, Deuces, & Duos : Hour 1 ::

:: Double Shots, Deuces, & Duos : Hour 2 ::

And the play list :

Hour 1 --

Foo Fighters – The Pretender
– Times Like These (Acoustic)

Feist – I Feel It All
– My Moon My Man

Actual Tigers - Testimony
- Standing By

Editors – An End Has A Start
– Smokers Outside The Hospital Doors

Bright Eyes – First Day Of My Life
– Hot Knives

Iron & Wine – Boy With A Coin
– Love Song Of The Buzzard

Billy Bragg & Wilco - Secret Of The Sea
- California Stars

Hour 2 --

Beastie Boys – No Sleep ‘Til Brooklyn
– Paul Revere

Stephen Malkmus – Gardenia
– Mama

Drive By Truckers – Easy On Yourself
- Never Gonna Change

Straylight Run – Existentialism On Prom Night
- Still Alone

Cat Power – Free
– Living Proof
- New York

Brendan Benson – Tiny Spark
- Metarie

Patty Griffin – Blue Sky
- Let Him Fly

:: Mission Underground Soundtrack Show ::

2008-02-23T04:21:00.000-08:00

For your listening pleasure here is another fun filled episode of Mission Underground. This week I went with a theme based show, playing songs from TV and Movie soundtracks. Here is the play list along with the audio files for download.

Download and listen here...

Soundtrack Show Hour 1

Soundtrack Show Hour 2

Hour 1 Play list ::

Weezer – Island In The Sun (Out Cold)
Jack Johnson – Bubble Toes (Out Cold)
Bob Schneider – Big Blue Sea (40 Days & 40 Nights)
Travis – Side (The Office)
Pete Droge & The Sinners – Beautiful Girl (Beautiful Girls)
Violent Femmes – Blister In The Sun (Grosse Point Blank)
Rolling Stones – Beast of Burden (The Family Man)
Wilco – Box Full of Letters (Beavis and Butthead)
Damien Rice – The Blowers Daughter (Closer)
Elliott Smith – Miss Misery (Good Will Hunting)
Ryan Adams – Nuclear (Smallville)
Beck – Lost Cause (Along Came Polly)
Turin Brakes – Pain Killer (The Last Kiss)
Gary Jules & Michael Andrews – Mad World (Donnie Darko)

Hour 2 Play list ::

The Flaming Lips – Do You Realize? (50 First Dates)
Badly Drawn Boy – Silent Sigh (About A Boy)
Radiohead – Fake Plastic Trees (Clueless)
Joseph Arthur – Honey and The Moon (American Wedding)
Chris Cornell – Sunshower (Great Expectations)
David Garza – Slave (Great Expectations)
Blue Swede – Hooked On A Feeling (Reservoir Dogs)
The Ramones – I Wanna Be Sedated (Detroit Rock City)
The Pixies – Wave Of Mutilation (Pump Up The Volume)
Stereophonics – Maybe Tomorrow (Wicker Park)
The Shins – New Slang (Garden State)
Pretenders – Brass In Pocket (Lost In Translation)
The White Stripes – I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself (My Best
Friends Wedding)
Spoon – The Book I Write (Stranger Than Fiction)

This show is what's keeping me sane around here!

I hope you guys enjoy.

Until next time...

your song and sleep deprivation

2008-02-20T15:35:00.000-08:00

It’s 12:30 in the morning and I am wide awake. Tonight is no exception. This is the norm…

This is my life…

I have always been nocturnal. Though the military has done what it can to change that, It has been ineffective in its attempts. Do I get up and make it work at the time Uncle Sam prescribes, yes. Do I struggle to make it happen, no. Do I feel like a ghost most days, yes.

And that’s that.

I don’t know if this will ever change for me. When asked by my family how I am doing , ninety nine percent of the time my reply is “ I am good, just tired.” It seems I have been tired my entire life.

Aren’t we all?

Lately I have been taking notice of replies and reactions. Spying a yawn, or eyes hanging lower than the setting sun. Open, only wide enough to maintain some small sliver of coherence. This is the life we have chosen for ourselves. These are the lives we lead. And I speak not only of my military companions here in Iraq, for I see and hear it in others back home as well.

In fact, I am so tired right now that I do not even know what I am writing, yet that does not stop me from turning my computer off and going to bed. I will not lay haste upon such an important task as updating my blog. Never shall I be defeated by the demons of sleep. I will overcome. I will prevail.

So, here I am, twenty minutes later from when I embarked on this literary (no laughing) journey, with nothing more to show other than too many paragraphs explaining, and exploring, and imploring the thoughts of restlessness and fatigue.

The truth of the matter is that I don’t want to turn my music off. It is my escape. I get so “into” my music that I cannot fall asleep while listening to it. I get so wrapped up in the words being sung, embraced by their beauty, that I cannot fall asleep. Each melody transporting me to another place. Every chorus reminding me of another time. For example.

Sam Beam is whispering in my ear… weaving a tale of a young woman by the name of “Jezebel”, while majestically taking me to the East Village of Manhattan. Every time this song touches my ears I do not find myself in Iraq, I am in New York City. It is October. I am walking down the street with my good friends Joe and Christine at 3 o’clock in the morning* with aspirations of getting a tattoo. And, we’re singing “Jezebel” at the top of our lungs! We would have sung all the way home had we not stopped at Crif Dogs and stuffed our mouths with cheese fries and Chihuahua’s. (I assure you no animals were harmed in the making of that evening. Put down the phone. PETA, nor the SPCA need to be called. )

* (See paragraphs above for previous commentary on my sleep deprivation.)

Now Sufjan Stevens is crooning about a shadfly that is caught in Bobby’s hair. Does that mean anything to you? No. Do I care about Bobby or his shadfly? Not a bit. But, I can tell you this… My wife hates Sufjan Stevens, and reminds me of it at the very mention of his name. Perhaps, to me, that is part of his charm. Not that I like to torture my wife with my music collection, but every time I hear his voice I can’t help but smile and revel in the fact that if Stacey was sitting next to me she would be rolling her eyes and begging me to change the music.

And for a moment she is here, by my side.

Am I trying to say that music is what is polluting the psyche of humanity and the cause of the aforementioned universal fatigue? Absolutely not. I am just telling you why I can’t sleep tonight.

See you should have listened to me earlier when I said that I have no Idea what I am writing right now. For some reason, tonight I felt so inclined as to let the iPod run and set my fingers free, typing at will. This is what you have now been subjected to. The incessant ramblings of a sleepless sailor lost in a sea of sand. (Say that 5 times really fast!)

Yes, I am a dork. I know this.

Okay, now where was I?

Music.

Right.

So…

As cheesy as it is, I watched the film “August Rush” this evening. Please keep in mind that I had no idea what the movie was about before watching it. However, as cheesy and emotionally driven as it was, it wasn’t a bad film. I could relate to many of its themes. Not the, I’m an orphan and a musical prodigy feel it had to it, but the idea that music is all around us… in us… in everything.

I am by no means a musical prodigy. In fact musically, I feel as thought I should be wearing a safety helmet and be placed in the “special” music class. There is nothing I hate more than walking into a music store and seeing an 11 year old wailing on a guitar in a manner that would put Hendrix to shame. Trust me it happens. I tell you this for one reason only. You don’t have to be a musical genius. You don’t even have to be a musician. Hell, you don’t even have to know how to play an instrument to hear the music.

Music is in everything. Yes, it is there. Can you hear it? Do you even know what your listening for?

The shutting of a door. The ticking of a clock. Leaves crackling beneath your feet. A mother doing the dishes. Children playing in the yard. Waves crashing into the sand. Car horns honking on the street.

It all comes together…

Adding and subtracting thoughts and sounds until it adds up to something you can grasp. A song you can hear… A song you can feel. A song that can take you places.

To many this may sound obscure, or even obscene. But I challenge you this… The next time you are on the street… in a noisy restaurant… laying in your bed wide awake… Close your eyes and listen to the soundtrack of your life. It may not be as poetic or as polished as Brittany’s last album, but it is yours.

Your life… Your world… Your song.

What does your song say about you?

:: :: Mission Underground Vol. II :: ::

2008-02-10T03:20:00.000-08:00

As promised, here is the recording of my latest radio show. I apologize for the poor sound quality, but limited bandwith only allows me to upload small files.

I also apologize for the lack in my writing lately. I promise to post something very soon...possibly tomorrow.

Until then enjoy...!

Mission Underground 8 FEB Hour 1

Mission Underground 8 FEB Hour 2

Mission Underground Goes Live...!

2008-02-05T07:54:00.000-08:00

Alright guys... After weeks of planning I finally got to go live with my new radio show "Mission Underground." Everything went well, although I was nervous as I have ever been. It's a little different talking music with my friends, compared to talking music into a microphone with 100,000 troops, and who knows how many Iraqi's tuning in. However, I got a lot of good feedback from people, as they seemed to have liked the show.

So, per everyone's request you can now listen/download the shows by clicking on the links below. It was recorded into hour segments, and I hate to tell you this, but the first 10 minutes of the show was cut off due to an issue with our recording device. So, you'll have to do without hearing my jittery, nervous self talking live on air for the very first time.

Please keep in mind that I am by no means a professional! With that said, enjoy!

Mission Underground Hour 1

Mission Underground Hour 2

::Mission Underground::

2008-02-02T08:10:00.000-08:00

So, tomorrow I will start broadcasting my very own radio show. Airing throughout Iraq Sunday nights from 6-8 p.m. I'll be playing lots of stuff not usually heard on mainstream radio, Indie/Alternative/Americana music, etc...

I am going to do my best to record every show and post it online in podcast form for your listening pleasure. I will be sure to let you guys know as soon as that is available.

If you were wondering what the music was that started playing as soon as you loaded this page... Well, that is a little "spot" I produced for my show. If for some reason the audio doesn't automatically load you can listen to it by clicking here. This was my first attempt, so lemme know what you think.

If you can't tell I am very excited about this opportunity! I just hope it all goes well.

Enough about that.

74 days until I start to head home, but who's counting right? The time has been flying by, it seems as if I just got here. I am sure Stacey feels a little differently about this than I do. Although I do like working here, I will be very glad to be home!

Until next time...

letters from the disgruntled

2008-01-23T07:05:00.000-08:00

I awoke to rain pouring down on my trailer this morning. The first thoughts when hearing rain in Iraq is Mud! Before I came here I had always thought of Iraq as nothing but sand and desert. Like with most things here, I was wrong. The sand here is more of a fine silt, dusty almost. The mixture of the silty sand, dirt, and water turns this place into a sloppy mess of mud. Think of pig pens, four wheeling, and two women...uh...er...I better stop there before my mother reads this. Needless to say mud is not fun for anyone involved, at least not in this particular fun filled environment.

Other than the mud, life has been treating well lately. My time here is flying by and I will be home in less than 3 months. It is hard to believe that the end is in sight when it feels like my time here has just begun. Trust me, I am by no means complaining. Although, I am happy to be here and feel as though we are doing our part in the efforts going on, I miss my home...my family...my wife.

I received an interesting letter yesterday, and by interesting I mean threatening! It was not sent out of malice or hate, nor was it threatening me with harm. It was sent with love. The kind of motherly love that kicks in when its time to give their children a spanking. You know the old "this hurts me more than it hurts you"routine? Yep, that's the one!

It seems that I may have portrayed things in my writing very different from how I feel. This particular person, who will remain anonymous (Joni Minton), wrote to me reminding me of what I am here for. Explaining to me the reasoning behind the love and support that I have so richly been blessed with, for that I will always be greatful. In fact let me read you a snippet of the letter...

"Ok! It is time for a chewing out young man! I am tired of hearing you put yourself down because you aren't in the middle of the desert in a hummer firing rounds off an M16 or whatever! I will tell you just like I told Jeremey...your orders sent you to the very place that God Intended for you to go! For whatever reason, for whatever purpose, He sent you there, and not just there, but to do the very job that you are doing!...

...And I will tell you something else, just because you aren't doing what you think you "should" or "could" be doing doesn't mean that you aren't making a sacrifice for your country! You are! You ask your wife, your mother, father, sisters, grandmother and grandfather even your OLD aunt! You are making an extreme sacrifice, and you volunteered to do it!...

...And another thing...imagine me shaking my finger at you!..."

As you can see I am getting the love and support from back home, whether I want it or not!

But... She is right. I have never meant to come across as being downtrodden about being here, or what I am doing here. I know that what I am doing here does have an affect on this war. It affects the soldiers who are at the tip of the spear, actually firing rounds, and negotiating hostile areas. It affects all of you back home, not just my family, but all Americans. It affects the good people in Iraq who are doing all they can to rebuild this country. I understand this, and I am more than happy that I can be a part of the efforts taking place here. The rebuilding of Iraq will take time, and it will take the help of everyone to make this happen. I know that somehow, someway my efforts here are helping that day to grow closer. That is why I get out of bed every morning and continue to do what I do, and why I always know that I have the support of those back home.

I guess distance has a way of letting things get lost in translation, especially for those who do not know me personally. Those who do know me have the joy of knowing my dry, witty, sarcastic humor, which I usually try to convey when I write. My last entry, "Convoyager", was not written out of self pity, but rather out of such humor. I apologize if it may have come across as anything but, which apparently it did... Just ask my OLD aunt!

So, I will pack up my things for the day. Load my bags into the back of my mini-van and drive off into the Iraqi sunset with the knowledge that I am making a difference...

One mini-van drive at a time...just pray I don't get stuck in the mud.

Convoyager... Plymouth that is

2008-01-10T02:58:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel like a fake. A fraud. A phony.

Today I had some co-workers miss lunch. They were out on a shoot(video that is) and didn't make it back in time. Knowing that today was going to be a long day and that they needed to get their freshly shot video edited and put together they asked me to go grab some food for them. No big deal, right? I am always more than willing to look after my people, especially when they are the ones who in turn take care of me. So off I go to grab them some food from the base exchange.

As I pull up into the parking lot I notice very quickly that it is packed. There are armored vehicles everywhere! From Humvees to Strikers, M-RAP's to Bradleys... Something is going on at the exchange today. As I pass these vehicles, and the crews standing outside of them, I notice that everyone is staring at me. Not just a few, but every person that I pass.

Although I am in the heart of Iraq right now, what has the US ARMY so graciously bestowed upon me...?

A soccer mom, kid toting, side door sliding, grocery getting MINI VAN!

A mini van. Seriously.

When I had first found out about my orders to Iraq I had envisioned convoys in Humvees...I would be the gunner. With my M-4 and NVG's in tow, I would be running supplies and personnel throughout the country. I would be a true warrior. Out on the streets doing what American troops are supposed to be doing...fighting terrorism and winning the hearts and minds of the innocent Iraqis. Nowhere in my wildest dreams did I expect to be driving around in a beat up old mini-van.

Yet, there I was in a parking lot full of troops just coming in off the streets, many of whom had been engaged in combat only hours before, driving a mini-van as if I was on a weekly trek to wal-mart.

If I was them I would have stared too. They are coming from one of the deadliest areas this generation has ever seen, why I drive around inside the comfort of the base in a mini-van.

My wife tells me that I won't be happy until I am miserable. Perhaps she is right. I feel that there is so much work that needs to be done here in Iraq, and feel as though I am not able to help accomplish any of it.

I am not the warrior, the purveyor of supplies and truth, convoying all over the country like I had envisioned. I am just a sailor lost in a sea of sand and solitude trying to find my way... One mini-van ride at a time.

Hello 2008!

2007-12-31T15:37:00.000-08:00

As the hour approached you could hear the beginnings of a wild night. Gun shots were heard sporadically throughout the evening, but nothing compared to what was coming. As the clock struck midnight the air filled with the sound of gunfire. It was nothing I had ever heard before. Shot after shot rang out! Tracer fire lit up the Baghdad sky. Bullets are much easier to come by than fireworks in Baghdad, so that is what the Iraqis use. Firing round after round into the air in celebration. What they don't realize, or don't care about, is that every bullet that goes up must come down.

As my good friend Bob was walking to his car a bullet came screaming down, burying itself in the hood of his car. As I was wishing my wife a Happy New Year bullets struck nearby, startling me. It was a welcoming of the New Year like none I have ever seen.

Growing up in America our idea of properly welcoming the New Year tends to dwell somewhere along the lines of champagne, fireworks, and a kiss. Putting on your finest clothes and heading out to a party with friends and family, or perhaps something a little less informal...

My most memorable New Years was spent around a campfire in the backwoods of South East Texas drinking beer, and playing guitar. I think we all ended up dancing naked around the fire that night, while singing and clapping in time. What really happened that night I'll never tell, but man what memories. We drowned our demons in beer that night before tossing them back into the fires from which they came. Using the first day of the new year as a launching point for the new lives we had vowed to begin, we laid it all on the line.

That year all those involved in the celebration had resolutions and promises to themselves and to others. Many of which we kept, while others ended in disappointment. This year however, I have a different feeling and attitude about it all. I am not making any promises of reform, nor do I have any resolutions to confess. I have said many times lately that I can feel something moving within my life, I can feel the change brewing. For once I have a handle on things and know where I want to be and how I am going to get there. I am no longer planning things, but I am living them. But... I guess if there was a promise, or resolution to be made it would be this... May I be true to myself and my family, and may we follow our hearts and our dreams into the New Year.

I wish you all the best in 2008!

Happy New Year!

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"Oh my Lord, Lord, Lord... Uh huh!" -SG

"Happy New Years baby! We could probably fix it if we cleaned it up all day, or we could simply pack our bags and catch a plane to Barcelona 'cause this city's a drag..." -AD

Streets of Baghdad

2007-12-30T03:20:00.000-08:00

Children are an amazing thing. Always growing and learning, pushing themselves to new levels of achievement. In the face of adversity they are the most resilient and uncompromising group of people one could hope to know. Teaching us more about life than the intellectuals and scholars. For, the lessons they teach are the lessons that make this world go round. Forgiveness, adaptability, relentless pursuit of their dreams. Dreams, that many of us lose faith in as we grow older.

Jesus spoke of having faith like a child. The children I had the joy of meeting yesterday were no exception, exhibiting a sense of happiness and exuberance like I have never before seen.

I spent the majority of the day yesterday with a group of Iraqi Scouts. Not some militaristic group of soldiers scouring neighborhoods searching for their enemy, but Boy and Girl Scouts. Amidst their ever changing violent world these children have dedicated themselves to learning and bettering themselves, and their leadership skills, through Scouting.

Taken from a Public Affairs article...

"Iraq was one of the first founders of Scouting in the Arab Region but lost international backing in the 90's when Sadaam Hussein changed the organizational goals and mission. However, the "Green Zone Council" a group which includes state department and military personnel in collaboration with local leaders, is working to foster the rebirth of Scouting in Iraq as a way to teach, coach, and mentor youth in values and skills that will set them up for success in life."

These kids were amazing!!! Their energy was overwhelming from the minute we arrived. Their spirit of love and friendship was one I will not soon forget. Not to mention the beauty of their spirit within.

I just hope that my time with them will of helped them in some way. Maybe to show them that Americans do care for them and for their future... To show them that there is hope when it sometimes doesn't feel that way. Regardless, of how I may have, or have not, affected their lives, I know they have forever changed mine.

May my photographs be a reflection of the hope that has not only been placed in the hearts and hands of the Iraqi children, but a reflection of the hope found within me.

painting the town...

2007-12-26T03:56:00.000-08:00

To me there is nothing more intimidating than a blank page, a blank canvas, or unexposed film. My mind racing with the limitless possibilities, and the self consciousness of letting my reader, critics, or audience down.

“Should I say this or that?”

“How do I convey my thoughts in a way that others will understand… in a way that I will understand?”

And so it goes until at last, I have filled the pages with smudges of ink… placed paint upon canvas… exposed light onto film. Very often happily surprised with the results, other times learning more about myself through the beautiful mistakes made in the process.

Like many before me, I view this life I lead as a blank canvas. A piece of fabric stretched and framed within the boundaries we have placed upon ourselves. And with every new decision, mistake, or triumph another piece of that canvas is painted in, until it seems we have no where else to go, no blank space left to paint.

Many use this opportunity to cover up things from the past, hiding the brush strokes that define where they came from, who they were, or may still be. Others simply have too much life to live, wanting to embrace it all… stretching their canvas to fit within a larger frame. Learning and growing, pushing the boundaries for a lifetime.

I’d like to think that I am more of the latter, but I know this is not always true. The energy and attitude required to stand up to such a task can be daunting. Often impaired by paranoid thought, or fear of failure, we paint ourselves into a box...unable to escape from these self defined parameters.

Let this New Year be a ground breaking year for us all. May we find the courage to break free of our own restraints. May we all be able to face the future with the idea of expanding our borders and embracing who we are rather than painting over the past.

So, the next time you stand in front of a blank page… a blank canvas… unexposed film… Fill them all with the words, paintings, and images of life. Exposing who you are and where you come from without hesitation. Pushing the boundaries while creating the greatest masterpiece you possibly can.

We are all artists.

We are all poets.

May 2008 be the year you learn to expose the beauty and expand the borders of this canvas we call life.

Happy New Year!

New Photo Website Launched!

2007-12-23T00:23:00.000-08:00

After toying with the idea for quite sometime, I have finally launched a "real" website for my photographs. It is still a work in progress, so please be patient. To access it just click here.

Or good ol' copy and paste...

http://www.inthelikeness.com

Enjoy!

clarification...

2007-12-14T04:40:00.000-08:00

After posting my latest entry I have had several emails of concern, and for that I am thankful. It was yet another display of concern indicative of all of the many caring people in my life. However, let me clarify that I am fine and that piece was written not just about me, but was spawned from a conversation I had with a few other Sailors and Airmen here in Iraq.

So... Everyone rest easy, I am fine.

And that is that.

Love and Peace...

Palatial Tendencies

2007-12-13T11:16:00.000-08:00

Solitude is an intriguing thing to witness.

This evening as I walked through the Palace courtyard the loneliness was thick in the air. You could see it looming amidst the various groups of people hanging around the pool area doing whatever they could to make the time past. Yearning to feel as if they were a part of something. I am not speaking of being a part of the war effort, or the reconstruction of Iraq. I am talking about life away from work. When your day is done and you have nothing but time to sit and be still. It is during those times that we learn the most about ourselves. The times when, although surrounded, we are alone.

The cigar afficianados, brutishly huffing and puffing their cigars as if this was the best night of their lives. Treating these dime store, hand rolled treats as if they were the best money could buy. Surrounding themselves with others who, if not for a mutual love of cigars, would otherwise not be associated.

Or the poolside tables filled with the souls of those who have seen and felt a pain that is beyond comprehension to most in this world. Souls who have nothing left to say, so they sit in silence comforted by the knowledge that at that table they are not alone. Or so they tell themselves. But as they crawl back into their trailers and tents the demons of loneliness begn to circle their prey. Eventually creeping and crawling their way back into the minds of those who they have claimed their own.

Then there are those who, like myself, lock themselves away on their computer. Surfing the net for any form of life outside of thier immediate surroundings. Staring at their computer screens numb, and waiting for a new email or instant message to briefly transport them somewhere far away. Believing that with every electronic conversation the demons will be pushed further and further away. But, in the end the computer only seems to be a pawn under the control of loneliness. For, if there are no emails or messages being received the feeling of loneliness is compounded, and the sinking feeling of loneliness comes flooding in. Before they realize it, they are drowning in it. Gasping for a breath of life, or love to keep them afloat, to keep them alive.

It's not the IED's and the RPG's, nor is it the AK47's or mortar rounds. The most destructive bullet in Iraq is forged in the fire of loneliness. It is here that satan pounds, and hammers, and shapes this ammunition. With knowledge that there is nothing in this world that any man can make to keep it from penetrating their heart.
What the demons of loneliness did seem to forget is one thing that is not issued by the Army, Navy, Air Force, or Marines. The piece of armor than cannot be penetrated. The armor of faith, and hope, and love.

For no matter how far away, nor how desolate and alone you may be. Those three pieces of armor will protect all who believe, and are wiling to embrace that which is unseen.

Perhaps God knew that it would take a trip to Iraq to realize that I have been walking around armorless. Leaving myself completely vulnerable to the attacks of satans pawns. I know that I am not unsucceptable to such things, but I will not let them take me down and out of the fight. I have my boots tied tight, my weapon at my side, and an impenetrable armor around my heart.

I am ready to walk these faithless streets.

resolutions and introspection...

2007-12-05T06:50:00.000-08:00

The days have been growing surprisingly chilly. I came prepared for 130 degree days, but instead I have so far been blessed with mild days and cool nights.
The temperature difference is indicative of my time here in Iraq. Expecting one thing, yet getting another.

December is already upon us and it feels as though just yesterday it was July. This time of year always seems to get me thinking. Maybe it's the change of weather, or possibly just the spirit of the holidays that always seems to spark the desire for change within ones self. This year is no different than the last.

With the new year comes the thoughts of new possibilities, new dreams, and new hope to accomplish dreams from years past. Along with the new comes the self inflicted guilt of unaccomplishment. It can usually be found creeping around the back door of my brain. Waiting for the inopportune time to knock and make its presence known.

The introspection involved in times such as these can either be used to push on towards accomplishment or weigh us down, drowning us in self pity.

Now, I know this may seem like a premature ejaculation of thoughts. Already brooding over a year that has not yet passed, and looking forward to the year to come, but it's whats on my mind these days. For once I am not having any of these self loathing thoughts. I can feel the electricity of opportunity in the air!

There are great things happening in my life right now. And although it may take a fair amount of time before these aspirations come to fruition, I know in the end they will. Providing me with the closing pages to one chapter of my life, while opening another.

coffee black and egg white.

2007-12-01T00:39:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting in my office, it's a Wednesday afternoon. Adam Duritz is telling me that maybe this year will be better than the last, as Christmas lights are flashing, blink..blink..blinkity..blink, in the office next to me. The flashing reflections reminding me of what I am missing... of what waits for me.

I know she is there, peacefully sleeping as I write these words. Maybe she's dreaming of me, as I often dream of her.

Lately it's been raining, the water and winter chill creeping it's way into her life. Soaking her to the bone with thoughts of loneliness, as I stand on the banks of a river far away, out of arms reach.

It's never easy, never has been. Giving thanks for someone who isn't there, someone you share your heartbeat with. Yet, she wakes every morn saying a prayer of thanks for who she is and what she has.

She shuffles about her apartment not yet fully awake, needing her morning coffee.

If only I could be there to pour her a cup.

I miss her.

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"A long December and there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last. I can't remember the last thing that you said as you were leaving. Oh' the days go by so fast..."

star starry night...

2007-11-27T15:21:00.000-08:00

For the first time since my arrival, the moon hangs high and full, illuminating the city laying at it’s feet. An eerie peace fills the air, as the only explosions to be witnessed tonight are the explosions of stars in the sky. Scattered across God’s black canvas, blinking and winking down at me.

I feel that piece by piece the reasoning behind God bringing me to Iraq is slowly being revealed. Through people and experiences I can feel something moving in and around me. I pray that more pieces may be revealed, more doors opened… most importantly the door to my heart.

It is hard to fathom what my childhood would have been like had I grown up here. Such vast differences in who we are stem from where we come from. Yet, so much of what we feel and what we seek are universally felt and pursued no matter what our upbringing.

It is late and I am tired. I don’t sleep much these days. Too many thoughts of family and friends… too many thoughts of what should be, or questions of where to begin fill my head. Often finding their way down through my fingertips, onto paper, and eventually to you. Sharing with those who surround my heart.

I pray that more will come from this situation, that more will come from me.

We have an opportunity to make a difference in the lives of many from here in Iraq. Pray that God can help me be an instrument to fuel that change.

I will be asking a lot of you guys in the coming weeks, I just ask that you be patient and resourceful with me. God has put me here for a reason, may that reason find it’s way into your hearts, as I feel it has already begun to move within me.

Goodnight and God bless…

ghosts of witness...

2007-11-22T07:18:00.000-08:00

I know it has been almost a month since I have posted, for that I apologize. It is hard to believe that it has already been a month since I arrived. Let me try to get everyone up to speed.

The day to day routine is in fact just that...routine. The days melt together into a blur that often feels like a train zipping by me while I sit at the station watching it pass me by. Most days I consider this a true blessing. However, there are moments I find myself in where I am in absolute awe of my surroundings. Little slivers of hope and peace amidst the turmoils surrounding me...

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It was a Tuesday afternoon. The sun had just begun to slowly melt into the horizon. It's warm glow casting a soft golden light on everything in it's path. I was in a humvee driving down the road, window down, breathing it all in. The dust and golden filled air making it's presence known.

As our vehicle was speeding past the infamous crossed swords of Baghdad we saw two helicopters begin their downward descent in order to land on the marching grounds that lay between the crossed swords. The intrigue of the helo's descent was too much for us to bare, so we threw on our blinker, and pulled the Humvee under the swords to witness the landing.

The helicopters touched down flawlessly, and with the military precision that we have come to expect. Instantly a convoy of humvees and up-armored suburbans flew in, gathered their passengers, and were driving off in to the sunset before the helicopter blades had even stopped spinning.

Moments later the whirl of the blades, and the roar of the humvees had faded. Once again the dust, and golden light, filled the air, but this time they were joined by the peaceful sound of silence. For a few moments my friend and I sat there enjoying the silence.

In this moment I could not help but be mindful of something I had read only days before. Adam Duritz, lead singer of the 'Counting Crows', had recently posted a blog entry in which he spoke of a quote from the author Carolyn Forche, which reads... "The silence of God is God."

And, in that moment I could feel the silence wrapping itself around me, embracing my very being. Affirmation that I am here for a reason much larger than myself.

I had my camera by my side so I stepped out of the humvee and began to shoot a few pictures of it all. Memories and snapshots of my minds eye.

At the base of each hand, which hold the crossed swords, Saddam Hussein placed the helmets of Iranian Soldiers who had been killed by his men in the Iraq/Iran war. Many helmets are found pierced with bullet holes, laying there witnesses and reminders of the blood that was shed. Seeing this display of utter disrespect for the lost souls, and Saddam's self-manifested glory shook me to the core.

As the crossed swords are somewhat of an iconic symbol and landmark of Iraq, people flock to the area to have their pictures taken in front of them. A souvenir to take home and to display. However for many, a picture is not enough. Helmets seem to disappear all the time, a war trophy of sorts. Others simply leave messages atop the helmets. Handwritten reminders to those who come behind them, letting them know they were here.

People are funny that way. Always trying to leave a piece of themselves to bare witness they took part in this legacy of war. In the end, once everything is stripped away and only our true self remains, I believe we all want the same thing. We all want to be remembered. To be memorialized. To know that our time here on earth was not spent in vain, and to know that our life meant something.

I am no different. Nor do I think anyone else is for that matter.

In the end we all turn to ghosts.

Ghosts of witness...

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Things are going well for me. We have been attacked several times lately. This is to be expected as we enter the Holiday season. Nothing says Happy Holidays like a car bomb, or mortar round. Regardless, I am still safe and pressing on. Working long hours and getting things taken care of.

Attached you will find pictures of the scene from the story above. Or shall I say, I am going to try and attach the pictures! Hopefully, it will work for me.

I appreciate everyones thoughts, prayers, and care packages that I have received. They are greatly appreciated! It certainly does not feel like the holidays when I am apart from the people I love. However, I am still forever thankful for all of you, and everything that you bring into my life. I am truly blessed.

I hope that everyone has had a beautiful Thanksgiving weekend. I promise to try and do better about posting here more often. I often begin to write, but somehow always get distracted by the never ending work that needs tending to.

I'd also like to ask everyone to keep my parents and their fellow companions in your prayers as they are embarking on their mission trip to Nepal. They are all doing great work over there! May they have a safe and productive trip.

Until next time my friends...

Settling in...

2007-11-02T12:29:00.000-07:00

I apologize for the delay in my posts. I am just now coming out of the acclimatization phase of being here in Baghdad. So, here it goes...

After landing at Baghdad International Airport (BIAP)I hopped on a convoy and headed over to my final destination, the International/Green Zone. Commonly known as the IZ, it is the home of the US Embassy here in Iraq. The embassy is housed in one of Saddam's old palaces, which is only a stones throw away from the infamous crossed swords. I'll try to post a picture of the palace and the swords for you very soon, but for now just click here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hands_of_Victory

I am in the safest area of Iraq, if there is such a thing. We do get the occasional mortar or rocket thrown our way, but nothing too bad. You just have to be aware of what is going on around you at all times, listening for early warning alarms, etc. This place is wild!

The palace is very nice at first glance. However, after further inspection you can see that the craftsmanship is not so great. Nonetheless I'll take it over a tent any day of the week! I truly am blessed to be stationed here. There are so many people in worse conditions than those of us here.

As far as my work is concerned, I am working with a group of broadcast and radio journalists. We produce a number of television news reports, as well as produce almost every US Military and State Department press conference held here in Baghdad. Not only that, but we are the producers of Freedom Radio. This is the only American run radio station in Iraq and it is specifically for the troops. Just think Robin Williams in "Good Morning Vietnam" and that is what we do. Good times I tell you!

I am starting to get into a routine. I have lots of work in front of me, but that is why I am here. I am just going to keep my head down and get to it, and before you know it I will be on my home. That will be a sweet day!

Thank you to all who continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I still have a long way to go before I am back home with Stacey. I know I won't be able to make it through without the help of you guys. I am truly blessed to have the love and support that you guys provide for Stacey and I.

I will post some pictures so you can get a feeling of how it is out here. I know many of you are wondering what it is really like. I am off to bed for now. I'll post more soon.

Adios!

First Impressions

2007-10-21T11:57:00.000-07:00

If you have never experienced a tactical landing of a US Air Force C-130 plane you haven’t lived! There is nothing like purposefully dropping thousands of feet in altitude while heavily banking that just gets to you. Looking around and seeing the various looks of shock, terror, and enjoyment on the faces of my fellow servicemen and women brought a smile to my face. However, this small pleasure was halted as I disembarked the aircraft and placed my foot on Iraqi soil for the first time.

In the distance you could see the aftermath of a fairly large IED. Smoke rising and gunfire sounding as we walked into the military airport terminal. How is that for a hello and welcome to Iraq…? Reality has just sunk in.

I am here. This is real.

I am currently waiting to be transported to my final destination, which I have been told is the safest place to be. A little place we like to call the International Zone. The same compound which houses the US embassy.

Well, my transportation just arrived. I will write more once I get to where I am going.

Catch up...

2007-10-21T11:44:00.000-07:00

The following entries have been written over the past few days as I was traveling from Kuwait to Iraq. Hope you enjoy!

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October 19, 2007

I am in Kuwait now, and have been for the past week. After a quick stop in Germany, and not being allowed to participate in the Octoberfest festivities, we landed in Kuwait City. After landing we were placed in a holding area for several hours with nothing to do, but drink in the bottled water and the views that lay before us. For many on my flight, myself included, this was the beginning of a new experience, virgins if you will. Perhaps we are part of the vast number of “virgins” Allah has promised his people. All joking aside, most of us, as tough as we would like to appear, are scared shitless!

So, after hours of waiting we were bussed to one of the many Coalition Force bases found throughout Kuwait. After another several hours we were escorted to a tent where we were finally able to get a little bit of sleep… 3 hours that is! They then woke us up only to have us move to another base only miles away. Once at this base we were finally able to get a night of good sleep. How precious sleep is!

The next day we were taken out into the middle of the desert to a camp with no running water, beds, or toilets and were embedded with an Army unit from Fort Polk, Louisiana for 3 days of training. The training itself was much like that which we have already been through. However, the education we received from being embedded with an Army unit was like none other that I have experienced. The people in the unit were very kind, humorous, and interesting to say the least. All I can say is that I wish that every Sailor who complains about the Navy could go and spend a few nights with an Army unit in field conditions. God Bless those ships with their running water and beds!

I am not saying that to bash the Army, for they accepted us with open arms and I am forever grateful for their kindness and hospitality. What I am saying is that there is a reason that I joined the Navy, and this trip only helped to confirm that I have made the right decision.

Apart from not showering, using a toilet, or eating anything other than an MRE the experience was amazing. I slept under the stars. I breathed in the dusty air. I woke in amazement every morning to one of the most beautiful sunrises in the world. And to top it off… As we were concluding our training a pack of wild camels came strolling across the desert right in front of us. Our entire unit stopped and stared in amazement. For most the only place they have ever seen a camel was at a zoo. Many stared in awe, while other were like giddy school children, giggling and pointing. It was the perfect way to end the training her in Kuwait and remind us that this part of the world is not just dust, trash, and rubble. This is the cradle of civilization. This is where it all began. As desolate, and destructive as it is portrayed there is so much history and beauty to be found here if we only take the time to stop and look, not as combatants, but as a human beings.

This is an experience that I will never forget, and I hope that by sharing through these short little blog entries of mine that you may be able to feel like you are a part of this with me, for I carry all of you with me, in my heart and soul, everywhere I go.

Thanks for reading and thanks for caring.

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October 20, 2007

It’s hot outside today, but this is expected when you are in a Middle Eastern country. I am inside my tent collecting my things and my thoughts in preparation for my entry in to the country of Iraq. This day has lingered amongst my thoughts for the past several months. It is a day that I have grown excited about, and dreaded all the same. The turmoil of emotion that comes to one when they are knowingly and willingly being put into a life threatening position of danger is a very intriguing and difficult one to endure, but I know that I will make it through.

My flight leaves in an hour and emotions are high, but faith prevails and I will persevere. Who knows where I will end up, what I will see, or who I will meet along the way. Everything I have done has been in preparation for these coming months. My preparation has drawn to an end, now it is time to perform.

All I know is that I am here for a reason. There is a purpose behind all of this. I am not sure what that is or why I am here, but I am keeping my head down and moving forward. One foot in front of another I will continue on until I reach my journey’s end and find my way back home.

I will see you all on the other side…

Soap box of emotion...

2007-10-12T23:15:00.000-07:00

Although I told you yesterday that that was going to be my last post for awhile time and emotion had their way with me. I am currently waiting to leave the country with nothing but time on my hands. Knowing that the day has finally arrived to depart this great land, and everyone I love, has played with my emotions more than I had ever thought possible. I have been on deployments before but this, in the words of my good friend Joe, is a horse of a different color.(I'll have to trust him on that one seeing as I am colorblind and all!)

I know that this is going to be one of the greatest experiences of my life, whether I realize it at the time or not. I know that there are so many good things that can come of this, but it is the waiting game that allows your mind and emotions to play with you. So, what better time to write than when your mind is full of emotion filled thoughts?

With that said, the following ramblings are the product of the forementioned environment. Spawned out of patriotism, fear, and I honestly think I was just trying to talk myself back to the place where I need to be mentally. Reminding me of why we do what we do, and go where we go. So, take it for what it's worth and enjoy the internal ramblings of my brain...

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I have come to the understanding that war is like prison, inhumane yet sometimes necessary.

When speaking with a friend about this last evening the question arose, "Do you think that one would be easier to endure than the other?" I am sure there are a thousand different ways for that question to be answered, but for me, right now, there is only one truth. War is a raw, gut wrenching, son of a bitch that tells you more about yourself than anything, or anyone else ever will. Some things you wish you had never come to know while other discoveries empower you to push on towards greatness.

Now, I am sure that an all inclusive trip to prison comes with a certain amount of fear, contemplative introspection, and growth, but to me this is where the similarities end.

It is in the choice that we as service men and women make that the difference can be found. You see while overseas we may live in small, prison like rooms. The food may be worse than that found in a prison. We may not have the freedom to go and do as we please. Our lives may be void of the immediate proximity of our families and friends, but... This is because of the choice we made when we raised our right hands and swore to defend this Country from ALL enemies foreign and domestic! We do this not out of obligation, but out of devotion. Devotion to duty, to family, to friends, to the spirit of this great Nation which lives in the hearts and minds of it's people.

I spent the past 2 weeks in the great city of New York. It was the first time for me to be in the city since before September 11, 2001. The day that I decided to walk downtown was a surreal and intimate day for me. I went alone, just me with my thoughts. I went knowing that the journey I am embarking upon to Iraq stems from the great tragedy whose remains loomed before me at Ground Zero. Seeing the ruins and rubble six years after the attacks still being excavated spoke volumes to me. It reminded me that just like the rebuilding of the World Trade Centers, this war is a long slow process of excavating the old and building the new. Not only in the literal sense, but in that we, as citizens of this great Country, are constructing the framework of a stronger America as we learn to overcome and grow in the face of such adversities.

I know that I will not be returning from Iraq the same person. I know that the people to my left and to my right will not be returning the same as before they left. I know that we will return greater, stronger, more resilient soldiers and citizens of this great Country we call home.

I also know that many who may read these words will disagree with not only what I am saying, but also with what the government and military are doing. Is this not what makes this Country so great? Giving those people the ability to complain without repercussion? Allowing them to voice their opinion no matter how different the view may be from that of the government? Is that not what we are fighting for?

I understand that the previously posed question may be a little too political for what I am trying to say here. In all honestly I don't know what exactly I am trying to say here. All I know is that I am nervous, scared, excited, anxious, and ready to handle anything that may come my way. Why? Because of the people reading this now. It is because of you, and your thoughts and prayers that not only allow, but enable me and every other American Sailor, Soldier, Airmen, and Marine to stand up and fight. Fighting not in the name of oil or politics, but for You! For the people of this free world to keep on working, living, loving, bitching, embracing, praying, protesting, and almost every other '...ing' you can imagine!

So, next time you have a moment take that time to say a prayer, send a thought, share a hug, say thank you, or share your heart with those who are giving that and more for you. Not just the Service Men and Women, but to their Wives, Husbands and Children who are sacrificing the same, if not more than their counterparts.

I will now step down from my soap box.

God bless you all.

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Sometimes I wonder what went through King David's mind before he went into battle?
His words, found below, seemed the most appropriate Bible verse I have found for my current situation.

"Because you have made the Lord your refuge, and the Most High your dwelling place, There shall no evil befall you, nor any plague or calamity come near your tent." (Psalm 91:9-10)

Adios America...

2007-10-11T12:22:00.000-07:00

It's raining in Brooklyn as I am packing the last of my things. I am not sure if I am ready for what is coming my way, but nonetheless it is time for me to go. The past few days in New York have been more than I could have imagined. I have feasted my eyes upon great art, my ears upon great music, but most importantly my heart among great friends. Joe and Christine your generosity and hospitality will never be forgotten.

I am leaving in an hour to travel back to Fort Dix. Saturday I will be leaving for Kuwait and then on in to Iraq. May God bless all of you have helped and supported me with your phone calls, letters, and most importantly prayers. Stacey and I could not have made it through without you all.

I do not know when I will be able to post again. As soon as I am able I will be sure to let you know what is going on with me. I will be sure to post some stories about New York here as well.

Until that time comes know that I love you all!

See you on the other side...

The good... The bad... The stupid...

2007-09-21T11:49:00.000-07:00

So, as I approach the one month anniversary of my arrival to the lovely state of New Jersey I find myself counting down the days until I shall depart this place. It is not that I dislike New Jersey, but it is hard not associate this state with the stupidity that I have experienced here. When first issued my bulletproof vest and helmet my original thought was that they were to be worn to protect me from flying bullets. However, upon further review, and Navy Individual Augmentee training, I have found that I wear these items in hopes of saving myself from the stupidity flying around this place.

Honestly the training and hospitality of the Army has been outstanding and a welcome change from the day to day routine of ship life. The frustration comes from the lack of leadership coming from the Navy side of things here. I hope and pray that my time in Iraq will be spent with people and Sailors that I see eye to eye with.

And that is that.

In other news...

I have been reading quite a lot while I am out here. Most recently I have tackled the task of reading the trilogy of books by the author Brian D. McLaren. I am about halfway through the first book in the series, "A New Kind Of Christian". It is quite an interesting read. Thus far dealing with modern and postmodern Christianity and viewing Christianity from an intellectual perspective. It is quite thought provoking and one of the better books I have ever read in relation to dealing with, struggling with, modern Christianity. If you ever have the time to read these books I would highly recommend it. However, be prepared to be reading for awhile as they are a little bit slower reading than average books. Lots to absorb!

Not that I am writing this post to start some long drawn out religious or spiritual discussion, but just to let you guys know what I am up to and how I am dealing with my down time.

Speaking of down time...

I will be getting about 6 days off upon completion of my training. I was given 2 choices... 1. Stay on Fort Dix and work at the Navy offices here, or 2. Go to New York City and spend the week with my gloriously generous friends who just so happen to reside there. Need I say more? I will post some pictures of my trip to the city upon my return.

After New York that will be it for me and America for awhile. Gotta love this place! I'll miss 'er, but because I love her I must go. I am going to go do what I do where I gotta do it! Are you picking up what I am putting down? Well alright!

Okay, now I am just rambling...

Thank you to everyone who has been so kind as to send me letters, cards, and baked goods! God Bless your Monster cookies Amanda Spell! And how can I forget the chocolate chip pound cake from my Mamacita? You guys are the best!

Me love you long time!

Until next time.......

Oh! Sweet Nuthin'...

2007-09-03T18:15:00.000-07:00

Landing at Philadelphia I, and the dozen or so people traveling with me, had the false sense that we were heading to an Army base well within the bounds of "Urban America". Oh! My dear sweet, 8 pound 7 ounce, Baby Jesus nothing could be further from the truth!

There are more groundhogs here than active duty military. Groundhogs, woodchucks, Beavercats, Woodhogs, Groundchucks... You name it and we have it! We even passed some Wild Turkey's, deer, and sheep on the way to one of our training 'evolutions'. Now I don't know if the Army guys keep the animals around to keep them "company" while they are out in the field or what...? All I do know is that there is nothing to do on this base! Damn you Fort Dix!

The upside to things is that we are training about half the time, and I am pretty much on vacation. I mean who honestly needs to train or get prepared for a deployment to Iraq, the Cradle of Life, the hottest vacation spot on the planet...? Apparently, not me.

Needless to say, things here are rocking along a little more frustrating than anticipated. Of the 39 Sailors in my training group only 9 of us are active duty sailors. The remaining 30 sailors are all reservists who do not live this military life on a regular basis. This causes mucho frustration to those of us who are used to the rigors of day to day Navy life. And of course....Leave it to the Navy to leave the part timers in charge of us all.

Oh' well! Enough about that... Negativity is not what I need to be putting out right now. Regardless of my frustrations a lot of the training I am receiving is pertinent to my deployment, I just wish that there was more of it. I have met a lot of really good people and we are all trying to make the best of our situation.

With a little less than a month left in the states all I can do is try to relax and enjoy the time that I do have in the good ol' US of A! I will try and keep you guys up to date as to what is going on here and when I will be leaving for Kuwait.

I know several of you guys have asked so I will post it out here for you guys. Below you will find my mailing address while I am here at FT DIX. Please keep in mind that I will be leaving here somewhere around the 27th of September, so if you do send me something make sure that it can get here by then. With that said... I love receiving packages...male packages..Uh, I mean...Mail packages! Yeah, that's it!

So, without further adieu...

SK2 Aaron Webb
ECRC BLDG 6038
DOUGHBOY LOOP
FT DIX, NJ 08640-9001

Well, I am off to get some rest. Thanks for listening to my little rants and raves. Know that I am doing well and missing you all. Until we meet again....

Oh' wait! One last thing...

Happy Anniversary Mrs. Stacey Webb! 2 years and counting! I love you sweet girl!

And that's that...

Adios Oahu!

2007-08-18T23:36:00.000-07:00

After weeks of anticipation, and in the wake of my world tour, the time has come... I am outta here! I am heading to the airport to get this new chapter in my life started. I fly out of Hawaii tonight at 11 p.m. arriving in San Diego 7 a.m. tomorrow. Gotta love the overnight, sleep deprived flights out of this place! I'll be in San Diego for the week and then on to Ft. Dix New Jersey. I'll keep everyone posted as to what is going on. Hope everyone is doing well. See you on the mainland!

Ding... Ding... Webb departing!

2007-07-31T02:20:00.000-07:00

You would think that after all of the bitching and complaining I did about the mighty ship USS PORT ROYAL that I would be happy to be leaving. However after completing my check out today I was sad in a way. For the last 3 years I have called this place home. I have literally shed blood, sweat, and tears on that ship. The people have become as close to me as family. Through this I believe that life has decided to bitch slap me back into reality. It is not just the fact that I am leaving the people and place that I have come to know so well, it is the reasoning behind my departure that makes this seem so daunting. I am literally leaving a fairly sterile, albeit floating, work environment for the war torn lands of Iraq. Who knows where I will end up or who will be crossing my path? All I know is that this is the start of one helluva bumpy ride! So, with this I have now officially checked off of the USS (never in) PORT ROYAL! On to bigger and better...er..uh.. I mean...hotter and dirtier....hmmm, that's not right either.... oh' well to hell with it... Adios PORT ROYAL! See you in May '08!

Mission & Schedule Update

2007-07-25T22:54:00.000-07:00

I got a few updates today from my mission action officer. Here's a quick run down of what I will be doing and when...

I will be deploying with a small unit of military broadcast and photo journalists who will be traveling throughout Iraq putting together video and still images for various military functions. I cannot say much more than this, but know that I will be safe and well taken care of.

As far as my schedule is concerned here's what I get to look forward to...

August 5 - Fly to Texas
August 9 - Stacey flies to Texas
August 15 - We both return to Hawaii
August 20 - Report to San Diego, CA for mobilization in-processing.
August - Report to Fort Dix, NJ for Army Combat/Weapon/Field Training.
September - Report to Kuwait for further training.
October - Report to Baghdad.

April - Return home SAFELY!!!

I'll update this with as much information as possible once it becomes available to me.

Thanks for everyones thoughts and concerns.

See you all very soon!

And so it begins...

2007-07-25T00:05:00.000-07:00

As many of you know I will be deploying to Iraq in the coming months. I know that you are probably thinking what in the he!! is a sailor going to the desert for...? I wish that there was an easy answer, or quick explanation for this, but there isn't. I go where I am told to go, and do what I am told to do, and I do it well. So, if the Navy wants to send me to the desert than let them. I welcome the change and know that no matter where I go, or what I am tasked I will do it with pride, and of course a little sarcastic humor. The same humor that I will use to share my stories here with you. So saddle up your camel, and get ready to roll out. This is going to be one crazy ride!!!