I awoke to rain pouring down on my trailer this morning. The first thoughts when hearing rain in Iraq is Mud! Before I came here I had always thought of Iraq as nothing but sand and desert. Like with most things here, I was wrong. The sand here is more of a fine silt, dusty almost. The mixture of the silty sand, dirt, and water turns this place into a sloppy mess of mud. Think of pig pens, four wheeling, and two women...uh...er...I better stop there before my mother reads this. Needless to say mud is not fun for anyone involved, at least not in this particular fun filled environment.
Other than the mud, life has been treating well lately. My time here is flying by and I will be home in less than 3 months. It is hard to believe that the end is in sight when it feels like my time here has just begun. Trust me, I am by no means complaining. Although, I am happy to be here and feel as though we are doing our part in the efforts going on, I miss my home...my family...my wife.
I received an interesting letter yesterday, and by interesting I mean threatening! It was not sent out of malice or hate, nor was it threatening me with harm. It was sent with love. The kind of motherly love that kicks in when its time to give their children a spanking. You know the old "this hurts me more than it hurts you"routine? Yep, that's the one!
It seems that I may have portrayed things in my writing very different from how I feel. This particular person, who will remain anonymous (Joni Minton), wrote to me reminding me of what I am here for. Explaining to me the reasoning behind the love and support that I have so richly been blessed with, for that I will always be greatful. In fact let me read you a snippet of the letter...
"Ok! It is time for a chewing out young man! I am tired of hearing you put yourself down because you aren't in the middle of the desert in a hummer firing rounds off an M16 or whatever! I will tell you just like I told Jeremey...your orders sent you to the very place that God Intended for you to go! For whatever reason, for whatever purpose, He sent you there, and not just there, but to do the very job that you are doing!...
...And I will tell you something else, just because you aren't doing what you think you "should" or "could" be doing doesn't mean that you aren't making a sacrifice for your country! You are! You ask your wife, your mother, father, sisters, grandmother and grandfather even your OLD aunt! You are making an extreme sacrifice, and you volunteered to do it!...
...And another thing...imagine me shaking my finger at you!..."
As you can see I am getting the love and support from back home, whether I want it or not!
But... She is right. I have never meant to come across as being downtrodden about being here, or what I am doing here. I know that what I am doing here does have an affect on this war. It affects the soldiers who are at the tip of the spear, actually firing rounds, and negotiating hostile areas. It affects all of you back home, not just my family, but all Americans. It affects the good people in Iraq who are doing all they can to rebuild this country. I understand this, and I am more than happy that I can be a part of the efforts taking place here. The rebuilding of Iraq will take time, and it will take the help of everyone to make this happen. I know that somehow, someway my efforts here are helping that day to grow closer. That is why I get out of bed every morning and continue to do what I do, and why I always know that I have the support of those back home.
I guess distance has a way of letting things get lost in translation, especially for those who do not know me personally. Those who do know me have the joy of knowing my dry, witty, sarcastic humor, which I usually try to convey when I write. My last entry, "Convoyager", was not written out of self pity, but rather out of such humor. I apologize if it may have come across as anything but, which apparently it did... Just ask my OLD aunt!
So, I will pack up my things for the day. Load my bags into the back of my mini-van and drive off into the Iraqi sunset with the knowledge that I am making a difference...
One mini-van drive at a time...just pray I don't get stuck in the mud.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Convoyager... Plymouth that is
Sometimes I feel like a fake. A fraud. A phony.
Today I had some co-workers miss lunch. They were out on a shoot(video that is) and didn't make it back in time. Knowing that today was going to be a long day and that they needed to get their freshly shot video edited and put together they asked me to go grab some food for them. No big deal, right? I am always more than willing to look after my people, especially when they are the ones who in turn take care of me. So off I go to grab them some food from the base exchange.
As I pull up into the parking lot I notice very quickly that it is packed. There are armored vehicles everywhere! From Humvees to Strikers, M-RAP's to Bradleys... Something is going on at the exchange today. As I pass these vehicles, and the crews standing outside of them, I notice that everyone is staring at me. Not just a few, but every person that I pass.
Although I am in the heart of Iraq right now, what has the US ARMY so graciously bestowed upon me...?
A soccer mom, kid toting, side door sliding, grocery getting MINI VAN!
A mini van. Seriously.
When I had first found out about my orders to Iraq I had envisioned convoys in Humvees...I would be the gunner. With my M-4 and NVG's in tow, I would be running supplies and personnel throughout the country. I would be a true warrior. Out on the streets doing what American troops are supposed to be doing...fighting terrorism and winning the hearts and minds of the innocent Iraqis. Nowhere in my wildest dreams did I expect to be driving around in a beat up old mini-van.
Yet, there I was in a parking lot full of troops just coming in off the streets, many of whom had been engaged in combat only hours before, driving a mini-van as if I was on a weekly trek to wal-mart.
If I was them I would have stared too. They are coming from one of the deadliest areas this generation has ever seen, why I drive around inside the comfort of the base in a mini-van.
My wife tells me that I won't be happy until I am miserable. Perhaps she is right. I feel that there is so much work that needs to be done here in Iraq, and feel as though I am not able to help accomplish any of it.
I am not the warrior, the purveyor of supplies and truth, convoying all over the country like I had envisioned. I am just a sailor lost in a sea of sand and solitude trying to find my way... One mini-van ride at a time.
Today I had some co-workers miss lunch. They were out on a shoot(video that is) and didn't make it back in time. Knowing that today was going to be a long day and that they needed to get their freshly shot video edited and put together they asked me to go grab some food for them. No big deal, right? I am always more than willing to look after my people, especially when they are the ones who in turn take care of me. So off I go to grab them some food from the base exchange.
As I pull up into the parking lot I notice very quickly that it is packed. There are armored vehicles everywhere! From Humvees to Strikers, M-RAP's to Bradleys... Something is going on at the exchange today. As I pass these vehicles, and the crews standing outside of them, I notice that everyone is staring at me. Not just a few, but every person that I pass.
Although I am in the heart of Iraq right now, what has the US ARMY so graciously bestowed upon me...?
A soccer mom, kid toting, side door sliding, grocery getting MINI VAN!
A mini van. Seriously.
When I had first found out about my orders to Iraq I had envisioned convoys in Humvees...I would be the gunner. With my M-4 and NVG's in tow, I would be running supplies and personnel throughout the country. I would be a true warrior. Out on the streets doing what American troops are supposed to be doing...fighting terrorism and winning the hearts and minds of the innocent Iraqis. Nowhere in my wildest dreams did I expect to be driving around in a beat up old mini-van.
Yet, there I was in a parking lot full of troops just coming in off the streets, many of whom had been engaged in combat only hours before, driving a mini-van as if I was on a weekly trek to wal-mart.
If I was them I would have stared too. They are coming from one of the deadliest areas this generation has ever seen, why I drive around inside the comfort of the base in a mini-van.
My wife tells me that I won't be happy until I am miserable. Perhaps she is right. I feel that there is so much work that needs to be done here in Iraq, and feel as though I am not able to help accomplish any of it.
I am not the warrior, the purveyor of supplies and truth, convoying all over the country like I had envisioned. I am just a sailor lost in a sea of sand and solitude trying to find my way... One mini-van ride at a time.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Hello 2008!
As the hour approached you could hear the beginnings of a wild night. Gun shots were heard sporadically throughout the evening, but nothing compared to what was coming. As the clock struck midnight the air filled with the sound of gunfire. It was nothing I had ever heard before. Shot after shot rang out! Tracer fire lit up the Baghdad sky. Bullets are much easier to come by than fireworks in Baghdad, so that is what the Iraqis use. Firing round after round into the air in celebration. What they don't realize, or don't care about, is that every bullet that goes up must come down.
As my good friend Bob was walking to his car a bullet came screaming down, burying itself in the hood of his car. As I was wishing my wife a Happy New Year bullets struck nearby, startling me. It was a welcoming of the New Year like none I have ever seen.
Growing up in America our idea of properly welcoming the New Year tends to dwell somewhere along the lines of champagne, fireworks, and a kiss. Putting on your finest clothes and heading out to a party with friends and family, or perhaps something a little less informal...
My most memorable New Years was spent around a campfire in the backwoods of South East Texas drinking beer, and playing guitar. I think we all ended up dancing naked around the fire that night, while singing and clapping in time. What really happened that night I'll never tell, but man what memories. We drowned our demons in beer that night before tossing them back into the fires from which they came. Using the first day of the new year as a launching point for the new lives we had vowed to begin, we laid it all on the line.
That year all those involved in the celebration had resolutions and promises to themselves and to others. Many of which we kept, while others ended in disappointment. This year however, I have a different feeling and attitude about it all. I am not making any promises of reform, nor do I have any resolutions to confess. I have said many times lately that I can feel something moving within my life, I can feel the change brewing. For once I have a handle on things and know where I want to be and how I am going to get there. I am no longer planning things, but I am living them. But... I guess if there was a promise, or resolution to be made it would be this... May I be true to myself and my family, and may we follow our hearts and our dreams into the New Year.
I wish you all the best in 2008!
Happy New Year!
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
"Oh my Lord, Lord, Lord... Uh huh!" -SG
"Happy New Years baby! We could probably fix it if we cleaned it up all day, or we could simply pack our bags and catch a plane to Barcelona 'cause this city's a drag..." -AD
As my good friend Bob was walking to his car a bullet came screaming down, burying itself in the hood of his car. As I was wishing my wife a Happy New Year bullets struck nearby, startling me. It was a welcoming of the New Year like none I have ever seen.
Growing up in America our idea of properly welcoming the New Year tends to dwell somewhere along the lines of champagne, fireworks, and a kiss. Putting on your finest clothes and heading out to a party with friends and family, or perhaps something a little less informal...
My most memorable New Years was spent around a campfire in the backwoods of South East Texas drinking beer, and playing guitar. I think we all ended up dancing naked around the fire that night, while singing and clapping in time. What really happened that night I'll never tell, but man what memories. We drowned our demons in beer that night before tossing them back into the fires from which they came. Using the first day of the new year as a launching point for the new lives we had vowed to begin, we laid it all on the line.
That year all those involved in the celebration had resolutions and promises to themselves and to others. Many of which we kept, while others ended in disappointment. This year however, I have a different feeling and attitude about it all. I am not making any promises of reform, nor do I have any resolutions to confess. I have said many times lately that I can feel something moving within my life, I can feel the change brewing. For once I have a handle on things and know where I want to be and how I am going to get there. I am no longer planning things, but I am living them. But... I guess if there was a promise, or resolution to be made it would be this... May I be true to myself and my family, and may we follow our hearts and our dreams into the New Year.
I wish you all the best in 2008!
Happy New Year!
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
"Oh my Lord, Lord, Lord... Uh huh!" -SG
"Happy New Years baby! We could probably fix it if we cleaned it up all day, or we could simply pack our bags and catch a plane to Barcelona 'cause this city's a drag..." -AD
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Streets of Baghdad
Children are an amazing thing. Always growing and learning, pushing themselves to new levels of achievement. In the face of adversity they are the most resilient and uncompromising group of people one could hope to know. Teaching us more about life than the intellectuals and scholars. For, the lessons they teach are the lessons that make this world go round. Forgiveness, adaptability, relentless pursuit of their dreams. Dreams, that many of us lose faith in as we grow older.
Jesus spoke of having faith like a child. The children I had the joy of meeting yesterday were no exception, exhibiting a sense of happiness and exuberance like I have never before seen.
I spent the majority of the day yesterday with a group of Iraqi Scouts. Not some militaristic group of soldiers scouring neighborhoods searching for their enemy, but Boy and Girl Scouts. Amidst their ever changing violent world these children have dedicated themselves to learning and bettering themselves, and their leadership skills, through Scouting.
Taken from a Public Affairs article...
"Iraq was one of the first founders of Scouting in the Arab Region but lost international backing in the 90's when Sadaam Hussein changed the organizational goals and mission. However, the "Green Zone Council" a group which includes state department and military personnel in collaboration with local leaders, is working to foster the rebirth of Scouting in Iraq as a way to teach, coach, and mentor youth in values and skills that will set them up for success in life."
These kids were amazing!!! Their energy was overwhelming from the minute we arrived. Their spirit of love and friendship was one I will not soon forget. Not to mention the beauty of their spirit within.
I just hope that my time with them will of helped them in some way. Maybe to show them that Americans do care for them and for their future... To show them that there is hope when it sometimes doesn't feel that way. Regardless, of how I may have, or have not, affected their lives, I know they have forever changed mine.
May my photographs be a reflection of the hope that has not only been placed in the hearts and hands of the Iraqi children, but a reflection of the hope found within me.
Jesus spoke of having faith like a child. The children I had the joy of meeting yesterday were no exception, exhibiting a sense of happiness and exuberance like I have never before seen.
I spent the majority of the day yesterday with a group of Iraqi Scouts. Not some militaristic group of soldiers scouring neighborhoods searching for their enemy, but Boy and Girl Scouts. Amidst their ever changing violent world these children have dedicated themselves to learning and bettering themselves, and their leadership skills, through Scouting.
Taken from a Public Affairs article...
"Iraq was one of the first founders of Scouting in the Arab Region but lost international backing in the 90's when Sadaam Hussein changed the organizational goals and mission. However, the "Green Zone Council" a group which includes state department and military personnel in collaboration with local leaders, is working to foster the rebirth of Scouting in Iraq as a way to teach, coach, and mentor youth in values and skills that will set them up for success in life."
These kids were amazing!!! Their energy was overwhelming from the minute we arrived. Their spirit of love and friendship was one I will not soon forget. Not to mention the beauty of their spirit within.
I just hope that my time with them will of helped them in some way. Maybe to show them that Americans do care for them and for their future... To show them that there is hope when it sometimes doesn't feel that way. Regardless, of how I may have, or have not, affected their lives, I know they have forever changed mine.
May my photographs be a reflection of the hope that has not only been placed in the hearts and hands of the Iraqi children, but a reflection of the hope found within me.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
painting the town...
To me there is nothing more intimidating than a blank page, a blank canvas, or unexposed film. My mind racing with the limitless possibilities, and the self consciousness of letting my reader, critics, or audience down.
“Should I say this or that?”
“How do I convey my thoughts in a way that others will understand… in a way that I will understand?”
And so it goes until at last, I have filled the pages with smudges of ink… placed paint upon canvas… exposed light onto film. Very often happily surprised with the results, other times learning more about myself through the beautiful mistakes made in the process.
Like many before me, I view this life I lead as a blank canvas. A piece of fabric stretched and framed within the boundaries we have placed upon ourselves. And with every new decision, mistake, or triumph another piece of that canvas is painted in, until it seems we have no where else to go, no blank space left to paint.
Many use this opportunity to cover up things from the past, hiding the brush strokes that define where they came from, who they were, or may still be. Others simply have too much life to live, wanting to embrace it all… stretching their canvas to fit within a larger frame. Learning and growing, pushing the boundaries for a lifetime.
I’d like to think that I am more of the latter, but I know this is not always true. The energy and attitude required to stand up to such a task can be daunting. Often impaired by paranoid thought, or fear of failure, we paint ourselves into a box...unable to escape from these self defined parameters.
Let this New Year be a ground breaking year for us all. May we find the courage to break free of our own restraints. May we all be able to face the future with the idea of expanding our borders and embracing who we are rather than painting over the past.
So, the next time you stand in front of a blank page… a blank canvas… unexposed film… Fill them all with the words, paintings, and images of life. Exposing who you are and where you come from without hesitation. Pushing the boundaries while creating the greatest masterpiece you possibly can.
We are all artists.
We are all poets.
May 2008 be the year you learn to expose the beauty and expand the borders of this canvas we call life.
Happy New Year!
“Should I say this or that?”
“How do I convey my thoughts in a way that others will understand… in a way that I will understand?”
And so it goes until at last, I have filled the pages with smudges of ink… placed paint upon canvas… exposed light onto film. Very often happily surprised with the results, other times learning more about myself through the beautiful mistakes made in the process.
Like many before me, I view this life I lead as a blank canvas. A piece of fabric stretched and framed within the boundaries we have placed upon ourselves. And with every new decision, mistake, or triumph another piece of that canvas is painted in, until it seems we have no where else to go, no blank space left to paint.
Many use this opportunity to cover up things from the past, hiding the brush strokes that define where they came from, who they were, or may still be. Others simply have too much life to live, wanting to embrace it all… stretching their canvas to fit within a larger frame. Learning and growing, pushing the boundaries for a lifetime.
I’d like to think that I am more of the latter, but I know this is not always true. The energy and attitude required to stand up to such a task can be daunting. Often impaired by paranoid thought, or fear of failure, we paint ourselves into a box...unable to escape from these self defined parameters.
Let this New Year be a ground breaking year for us all. May we find the courage to break free of our own restraints. May we all be able to face the future with the idea of expanding our borders and embracing who we are rather than painting over the past.
So, the next time you stand in front of a blank page… a blank canvas… unexposed film… Fill them all with the words, paintings, and images of life. Exposing who you are and where you come from without hesitation. Pushing the boundaries while creating the greatest masterpiece you possibly can.
We are all artists.
We are all poets.
May 2008 be the year you learn to expose the beauty and expand the borders of this canvas we call life.
Happy New Year!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
New Photo Website Launched!
After toying with the idea for quite sometime, I have finally launched a "real" website for my photographs. It is still a work in progress, so please be patient. To access it just click here.
Or good ol' copy and paste...
http://www.inthelikeness.com
Enjoy!
Or good ol' copy and paste...
http://www.inthelikeness.com
Enjoy!
Friday, December 14, 2007
clarification...
After posting my latest entry I have had several emails of concern, and for that I am thankful. It was yet another display of concern indicative of all of the many caring people in my life. However, let me clarify that I am fine and that piece was written not just about me, but was spawned from a conversation I had with a few other Sailors and Airmen here in Iraq.
So... Everyone rest easy, I am fine.
And that is that.
Love and Peace...
So... Everyone rest easy, I am fine.
And that is that.
Love and Peace...
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