Soap box of emotion...

Although I told you yesterday that that was going to be my last post for awhile time and emotion had their way with me. I am currently waiting to leave the country with nothing but time on my hands. Knowing that the day has finally arrived to depart this great land, and everyone I love, has played with my emotions more than I had ever thought possible. I have been on deployments before but this, in the words of my good friend Joe, is a horse of a different color.(I'll have to trust him on that one seeing as I am colorblind and all!)

I know that this is going to be one of the greatest experiences of my life, whether I realize it at the time or not. I know that there are so many good things that can come of this, but it is the waiting game that allows your mind and emotions to play with you. So, what better time to write than when your mind is full of emotion filled thoughts?

With that said, the following ramblings are the product of the forementioned environment. Spawned out of patriotism, fear, and I honestly think I was just trying to talk myself back to the place where I need to be mentally. Reminding me of why we do what we do, and go where we go. So, take it for what it's worth and enjoy the internal ramblings of my brain...

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I have come to the understanding that war is like prison, inhumane yet sometimes necessary.

When speaking with a friend about this last evening the question arose, "Do you think that one would be easier to endure than the other?" I am sure there are a thousand different ways for that question to be answered, but for me, right now, there is only one truth. War is a raw, gut wrenching, son of a bitch that tells you more about yourself than anything, or anyone else ever will. Some things you wish you had never come to know while other discoveries empower you to push on towards greatness.

Now, I am sure that an all inclusive trip to prison comes with a certain amount of fear, contemplative introspection, and growth, but to me this is where the similarities end.

It is in the choice that we as service men and women make that the difference can be found. You see while overseas we may live in small, prison like rooms. The food may be worse than that found in a prison. We may not have the freedom to go and do as we please. Our lives may be void of the immediate proximity of our families and friends, but... This is because of the choice we made when we raised our right hands and swore to defend this Country from ALL enemies foreign and domestic! We do this not out of obligation, but out of devotion. Devotion to duty, to family, to friends, to the spirit of this great Nation which lives in the hearts and minds of it's people.

I spent the past 2 weeks in the great city of New York. It was the first time for me to be in the city since before September 11, 2001. The day that I decided to walk downtown was a surreal and intimate day for me. I went alone, just me with my thoughts. I went knowing that the journey I am embarking upon to Iraq stems from the great tragedy whose remains loomed before me at Ground Zero. Seeing the ruins and rubble six years after the attacks still being excavated spoke volumes to me. It reminded me that just like the rebuilding of the World Trade Centers, this war is a long slow process of excavating the old and building the new. Not only in the literal sense, but in that we, as citizens of this great Country, are constructing the framework of a stronger America as we learn to overcome and grow in the face of such adversities.

I know that I will not be returning from Iraq the same person. I know that the people to my left and to my right will not be returning the same as before they left. I know that we will return greater, stronger, more resilient soldiers and citizens of this great Country we call home.

I also know that many who may read these words will disagree with not only what I am saying, but also with what the government and military are doing. Is this not what makes this Country so great? Giving those people the ability to complain without repercussion? Allowing them to voice their opinion no matter how different the view may be from that of the government? Is that not what we are fighting for?

I understand that the previously posed question may be a little too political for what I am trying to say here. In all honestly I don't know what exactly I am trying to say here. All I know is that I am nervous, scared, excited, anxious, and ready to handle anything that may come my way. Why? Because of the people reading this now. It is because of you, and your thoughts and prayers that not only allow, but enable me and every other American Sailor, Soldier, Airmen, and Marine to stand up and fight. Fighting not in the name of oil or politics, but for You! For the people of this free world to keep on working, living, loving, bitching, embracing, praying, protesting, and almost every other '...ing' you can imagine!

So, next time you have a moment take that time to say a prayer, send a thought, share a hug, say thank you, or share your heart with those who are giving that and more for you. Not just the Service Men and Women, but to their Wives, Husbands and Children who are sacrificing the same, if not more than their counterparts.

I will now step down from my soap box.

God bless you all.


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Sometimes I wonder what went through King David's mind before he went into battle?
His words, found below, seemed the most appropriate Bible verse I have found for my current situation.


"Because you have made the Lord your refuge, and the Most High your dwelling place, There shall no evil befall you, nor any plague or calamity come near your tent." (Psalm 91:9-10)