Palatial Tendencies

Solitude is an intriguing thing to witness.

This evening as I walked through the Palace courtyard the loneliness was thick in the air. You could see it looming amidst the various groups of people hanging around the pool area doing whatever they could to make the time past. Yearning to feel as if they were a part of something. I am not speaking of being a part of the war effort, or the reconstruction of Iraq. I am talking about life away from work. When your day is done and you have nothing but time to sit and be still. It is during those times that we learn the most about ourselves. The times when, although surrounded, we are alone.

The cigar afficianados, brutishly huffing and puffing their cigars as if this was the best night of their lives. Treating these dime store, hand rolled treats as if they were the best money could buy. Surrounding themselves with others who, if not for a mutual love of cigars, would otherwise not be associated.

Or the poolside tables filled with the souls of those who have seen and felt a pain that is beyond comprehension to most in this world. Souls who have nothing left to say, so they sit in silence comforted by the knowledge that at that table they are not alone. Or so they tell themselves. But as they crawl back into their trailers and tents the demons of loneliness begn to circle their prey. Eventually creeping and crawling their way back into the minds of those who they have claimed their own.

Then there are those who, like myself, lock themselves away on their computer. Surfing the net for any form of life outside of thier immediate surroundings. Staring at their computer screens numb, and waiting for a new email or instant message to briefly transport them somewhere far away. Believing that with every electronic conversation the demons will be pushed further and further away. But, in the end the computer only seems to be a pawn under the control of loneliness. For, if there are no emails or messages being received the feeling of loneliness is compounded, and the sinking feeling of loneliness comes flooding in. Before they realize it, they are drowning in it. Gasping for a breath of life, or love to keep them afloat, to keep them alive.

It's not the IED's and the RPG's, nor is it the AK47's or mortar rounds. The most destructive bullet in Iraq is forged in the fire of loneliness. It is here that satan pounds, and hammers, and shapes this ammunition. With knowledge that there is nothing in this world that any man can make to keep it from penetrating their heart.
What the demons of loneliness did seem to forget is one thing that is not issued by the Army, Navy, Air Force, or Marines. The piece of armor than cannot be penetrated. The armor of faith, and hope, and love.

For no matter how far away, nor how desolate and alone you may be. Those three pieces of armor will protect all who believe, and are wiling to embrace that which is unseen.

Perhaps God knew that it would take a trip to Iraq to realize that I have been walking around armorless. Leaving myself completely vulnerable to the attacks of satans pawns. I know that I am not unsucceptable to such things, but I will not let them take me down and out of the fight. I have my boots tied tight, my weapon at my side, and an impenetrable armor around my heart.

I am ready to walk these faithless streets.