Convoyager... Plymouth that is

Sometimes I feel like a fake. A fraud. A phony.

Today I had some co-workers miss lunch. They were out on a shoot(video that is) and didn't make it back in time. Knowing that today was going to be a long day and that they needed to get their freshly shot video edited and put together they asked me to go grab some food for them. No big deal, right? I am always more than willing to look after my people, especially when they are the ones who in turn take care of me. So off I go to grab them some food from the base exchange.

As I pull up into the parking lot I notice very quickly that it is packed. There are armored vehicles everywhere! From Humvees to Strikers, M-RAP's to Bradleys... Something is going on at the exchange today. As I pass these vehicles, and the crews standing outside of them, I notice that everyone is staring at me. Not just a few, but every person that I pass.

Although I am in the heart of Iraq right now, what has the US ARMY so graciously bestowed upon me...?

A soccer mom, kid toting, side door sliding, grocery getting MINI VAN!

A mini van. Seriously.

When I had first found out about my orders to Iraq I had envisioned convoys in Humvees...I would be the gunner. With my M-4 and NVG's in tow, I would be running supplies and personnel throughout the country. I would be a true warrior. Out on the streets doing what American troops are supposed to be doing...fighting terrorism and winning the hearts and minds of the innocent Iraqis. Nowhere in my wildest dreams did I expect to be driving around in a beat up old mini-van.

Yet, there I was in a parking lot full of troops just coming in off the streets, many of whom had been engaged in combat only hours before, driving a mini-van as if I was on a weekly trek to wal-mart.

If I was them I would have stared too. They are coming from one of the deadliest areas this generation has ever seen, why I drive around inside the comfort of the base in a mini-van.

My wife tells me that I won't be happy until I am miserable. Perhaps she is right. I feel that there is so much work that needs to be done here in Iraq, and feel as though I am not able to help accomplish any of it.

I am not the warrior, the purveyor of supplies and truth, convoying all over the country like I had envisioned. I am just a sailor lost in a sea of sand and solitude trying to find my way... One mini-van ride at a time.